berbicara tentang film (part 2)

lanjutan posting yang lalu YANG ILANG NGGAK TAU KEMANA hooohohoho.

 

^^ FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK ^^

sebenernya gua punya favorite soundtrack dari sebuah film yang ada di postingan berbicara tentang film ini. tapi setelah didengarkan ulang, soundtrack petikan gitar itu terasa terlalu personal gitu. terlalu precious buat disebar luaskan. that's only mine gitu bahahahahhahaha. so.

^^^ FAVORITE TWIST ^^^

1. the sixth sense (USA)

kayaknya semua orang yang doyan nonton bakal milih the sixth sense sebagai film dengan twist ending paling tete dalam sejarah.

termasuk ane.

bye.

gue suka m. night shyamalan karena gue mikir gue cocok dengan gaya paman itu mengolah cerita. bukan masalah besar kalo gue ngaku the sixth sense adalah salah satu inspirasi dalam berkarya diri ini caelah.

karena film ini spoiler alert to the max, buat lo yang belom pernah nonton, tolong, plis, please jebal nonton. lalu merinding sendiri dan tepuk tangan.

2. unbreakable (USA)

masih bruce willis. masih m. night shyamalan. masih salah satu film yang sangat inspiratif bagi diri ini untuk berkarya.

sebenernya premis unbreakable itu super sederhana sekali; good vs evil dan/atau hero vs villain. hanya saja diangkat dari sudut pandang yang nggak lazim, begitu. slow build emang, jadi kudu sabar waktu nonton. tapi ending-nya worth it banget. karakter bruce willis juga bikin simpati gitu, apalagi karakternye morgan freeman byE.

scene paling memorable jelas ketika bruce willis minta tolong anaknya nambahin berat buat mengetes seberapa kuat dirinya ketika angkat beban di basement rumah. lalu scene si anak menodongkan pistol ke bruce willis untuk, lagi-lagi, 'mengetes' apakah si bapak bisa mati atau enggak. lalu jelas endingnya. scene ketika morgan freeman ngaku kalo dia...............................................

> FAVORITE BASED ON TRUE STORY MOVIE >

1. radio (USA)

 

intinya tiap lima belas menit sekali bamby sesenggukkan nggak macho gitu tiap nonton film ini (dua kali, di tipi, diketawain mami deh waktu ketauan).

setdah liat posternya aja bamby nggak sanggup.

so. radio. ceritanya tentang seorang coach american football SMA yang berteman dengan  seorang black man keterbelakangan mental ah kaga sanggup nih lagi liat IMDB bahahhahahah eyes blurred as fuck gini byeeeeeeeee.

2. we are marshall (USA)

jadi sesungguhnya, sebelom bamby tergila-gila dengan eyeshield 21 manga japan, bamby sudah cinta pada american football.

sama kayak radio, we are marshall diangkat dari kisah nyata, film sport, tentang american football pula bahhahahahahaha.

ceritanya tentang satu tim american football tahun 1970 yang tewas dalam plane crash berikut pelatih dan staff. nggak ada yang selamat di pesawat tersebut, NAMUN ada seenggaknya 5 atlet american football yang nggak ikut di dalem pesawat karena cedera dan jeng jeng jeng... ketiduran.

lalu marshall university pun nggak punya tim american football. maka dimulai lah pencarian, perekrutan, jatuh bangunnya tim yang notabene dibentuk dari 'abu' seperti tagline film. ntap. persahabatan. perjuangan. hope among despair. sinematografi. foto-foto asli dari para atlet yang bersangkutan yang bikin... yah... cewdy kakak bahahhahaha.

>> The Movie that You Love But Everyone Seems to Hate >>

transformers 4 yang ada dinobot itu, tbh. dengan catatan, gue cuman suka sinematografinya yang bikin merinding. plot, karakter, apalagi aktris yang memerankan anaknya mark wahlberg? N O P E. cuma sinematografi adegan si anak cewek itu diculik pesawat decepticon di tengah-tengah ladang jagung nan hijau dengan langit biru luas, aspal abu-abu mulus, dan kedetilan pesawat roboalien yang tampak sangat nyata. demi tete segala tete. merinding dan terpukau ane nontonnya.

>>> The Movie that You Hate But Everyone Seems to Love >>>

wah banyak bener ini.

frozen. didn't feel the 'magic'. annoying soundtrack.

interstellar. tidak memukau.

star wars lah star trek stargate ape itu.

monsters university bahahahhaha.

twilight ew.

- MOST TEAR JERKING -

kalo lo penggemar film-film sport dan perang seperti diri ini. well, dapat dipastikan semua film sport dan perang macam black hawk down, saving private ryan, band of brothers itu semua bikin mewek nggak keruan bahhahahahahah.

-- MOST FAVORITE DRAMA --

1. brokeback mountain (USA)

film ini mengubah hidupku. titik.

2.  a brand new life (south korea)

parah. akting aktris cilik ceweknya parah banget. sinematografinya. overall dark, melancholic tone dari film ini yang gue dapatkan mulai dari awal sampai akhir. scene dedek ini mengubur dirinya sendiri dengan wajah lempeng tanpa ekspresi. her intense feeling when she was 'betrayed' by her bff in that orphanage. good lord. everything.

gue nonton film ini nggak sengaja di tipi kabel.

nggak menyesal sama sekali saking luar biasanya.

slow build. mendung. dingin. frustasi. dalem.

akting dedek ini sih yang beneran bikin ane standing ovation dan googling namanya siapa bahahahhaha. amazing. kudu ditonton kalo lagi nggak ada kerjaan.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oke.

semoga bermanfaat buat ente-ente yang demen nonton. bikin juga lah entri kayak gini biar ane dan banyak orang bisa baca, sekalian rekomen film juga.

any thoughts, mungkin rebuke atau agreement langsung aja komen. gue denger-denger memvokalisasikan apa yang ada di pikiran lo harus jadi trend di tahun 2015 bahahahahha. mari diskusi lebih banyak lagi.

sampai jumpa tahun depan!

cerita zombi 4

>>> yo pakabar?

ezra akhirnya berpetualang. kurang lebih. bahahahhaha.

di chapter 4 ini gue harap lo bisa agak nyengir-nyengir jijay karena ezra bertingkah kocak. kurang lebih.

lol oke selamat baca!

p.s. kalo ada kalimat usang aneh ih bam salah grammar lu, tolong kasitau yak. >>>

“Play what?”

Nakula looks at Ezra like Ezra is The Cutest Boy Ever Graces This Earth. His mom used to give him that look. Even worse, his dad still thought he’s The Greatest Son Ever after he started seeing the psychiatrist. What is wrong with people?

“It’s just a game I came up with this afternoon,” Nakula throws an arm around Ezra’s shoulders like they’re the best of friends. When Ezra shrugs it off gently to take a step back, he smiles. “You know, just go out there to look around.”

“Out?” Ezra frowns, barely aware of the giggling around him. “With all the zombies? Why?”

“That’s why it’s called ‘a game’,” Nakula is still smiling, “because it’s fun.”

Yeah, right.

“Then why don’t you play too?” Ezra asks, giving Nakula the stingy eye his senior upperclassmen had hated so, so much. “If it’s so fun to you?” but he keeps his voice indifferent because that just pissed them off so, so much back then.

Nakula’s eyebrows are raised while there’s a collective, disbelieved gasp coming from his toy soldiers.

Ezra mimics what Nakula just did.

“Ezra, here’s the thing you need to understand,” Nakula seems to have a hobby to throw his arm around someone’s shoulders, because he does it again to Ezra, who doesn’t bother to shrug it off this time. “You don’t get to question me. You do what I say, because that’s how it is.”

Ah.

How boring.

“Okay then.” Ezra feels himself smiling as Nakula squeezes him closer. He doesn’t miss the puzzled look coming from the so-called leader and his blind followers when he said it. “What are the rules?” he redirects his handsome smile (his mom’s words, not his) toward the rest of the group like either he’s too thick to get the ‘joke’ or he’s insane to agree to the whole messed up situation involving one charming maniac.

Nakula doesn’t take too long to recover and deliver the basic rules.

You just need to go to a minimart located three blocks from here, take anything you like, and come back as soon as possible. Nakula provides stolen machetes from the warehouse as weapons. There’s no winner or loser in this game, because it’s just for fun. You will come back braver and stronger after you go out there. Sure, Ezra keeps his thought for himself, says the guy who isn’t even going out there.

“Do you have any questions, Ezra?” Even though Nakula’s smile doesn’t have any significance to our protagonist, still Ezra has to admit that that smile is going to be strongest contender to his very own handsome smile.

All the more reason to ‘play’, yeah?

“Me? Nothing. Let’s do this.” And because Ezra can be hilarious just like any other seventeen year olds, he adds, “Been craving Oreo and Ultra Milk, to be honest.”

Ezra swears Nakula is this clo~se to hug him after he cracked the joke, but he manages to dodge out of Nakula’s overly friendly nature by siding up next to Pipit, bumping their arms, and she giggles as Ezra clears his throat in lieu of an apology.

“You’re nuts,” she has to tiptoe to whisper to the side of Ezra’s neck, sending warm, minty breath to the cold skin. “But in a good way.”

Oh.

Well.

*

Getting out means climbing the rambutan tree to reach over the ten feet tall, black wall. There’s an electricity pole right across the wall, so they can slide down like firemen to go out there. How are they going to come back? Good question. You have to climb up the electricity pole or get in from the front gate, feigning innocence and desperation.

Of course Ezra is going to come back using the second method.

They have to move fast while the watchmen are still enjoying their goddamned fried rice dinner. Ezra swears he’s going to take a hundred of instant fried rice seasoning from the minimart and then he will make his own fried rice that he will eat for a week.

Pipit climbs first, followed by the kid who wished Ezra die earlier that day, Tyo, and then David, a quiet, Betawi-Chinese boy, Ambar, a hijab-wearing, trekking kind of girl with her thick checkered flannel and Northface sandal, and finally it’s Ezra’s turn to climb the rambutan tree but not before a creepy good luck from Nakula, who wishes him to come back safely because they have so much to talk about.

What a turn off, Ezra thinks as he reaches the wall. He would have preferred to run away and never come back, if only he has his backpack with him and he isn’t really that hooked to eating fried rice. He can’t cook fried rice out there, not without a proper kitchen utensil et cetera. Hell, Ezra can’t even cook rice!

He’s still pressed about his interrupted dinner as he slides down the electricity pole and lands in one piece next to Pipit.

“Ready?” Apparently, Pipit is the appointed leader for this fun game. “Stay close together and try not to make loud noises. Remember to aim for the brain! I know where the minimart is, so follow me. Is that clear?”

Everyone nods silently.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Source of lighting is scarce, despite the fact that the government’s shelter is located in the posh area of South Jakarta. They can see the road alright, but still it’s way darker than the normal days before this shit went down. The street lamps are rationed, so it’s 1:5 every a couple of meters. They stay low, hiding beneath the shadow or else the watchmen will be interrupted from their nice fried rice dinner by thinking that they’re a hoard of zombies going further, not closer, from them.

Whenever the chilly wind blows, the foul stench of those walking dead is transmitted in the air. Ezra is glad for his handkerchief, although running with his nose blocked is quite uncomfortable as he notices his teammates begin to struggle with the seemingly foreign act of putting one leg after another in a (rather) fast pace after lying around like pregnant whales and gossiping and being teenager-y for more than a month. They haven’t even reached the first block yet.

For a good measure, Ezra tightens his grip on the machete’s sturdy handle.

Now there’s an out of sync raggedy pant-pant!-pant! from his teammates—what a weird way to address these strangers—and Ezra thinks he just sees a moving silhouette from his peripheral vision as they take a left turn to the second block.

“Oh god, please,” Tyo whines abruptly, “please, Kak Pipit, can we rest for a minute?”

Pipit’s answer is a short no. Ezra almost smiles.

“Please?” Tyo stops running then. He folds his knees to heave. Ambar is kind enough to pat his back to coax him to keep going. It’s too risky stopping out in the open like this. The abandoned photo studio is dark like the rest of this block, and Ezra swears he hears something.

He nudges David and whispers, “How about we get ready?”

“For what? Did you, did you see anything?!” David, for a quiet dude, sure expresses his panic loudly.

Tyo gasps at that. Ambar crouches down so fast Ezra wonders whether she pulls a muscle or not. Pipit orders them to stand back to back, creating a circle, with Tyo in the center, probably crying for real now.

Ezra doesn’t want to be the party popper, so he obeys the order and prays that he was hallucinating.

But a famous proverb once said ‘the third time is a charm’.

T . B . C

ternyata

the strain (http://logikatanpacela.blogspot.com/2014/11/are-you-are-you-coming-to-tree.html) yang jauh lebih seru lebih berdarah-darah dan lebih ngilu nggak menimbulkan dampak kengerian signifikan sama sekali.

teror the shining-nya embah king masih nomor satu.

bahahahahahhaha.

nggak ada mimpi-mimpi aneh. nggak ada sekelebatan bayangan lewat di ujung mata. nggak ada benda bergerak. nope. nada. nothing. merci. lol.

begitulah.

tetep kudu nyari sekuelnya.

wow desember.

ayo ke blok m square satronin toko buku bekas!!!!11!

cerita zombi 3

 > > > ternyata belom eksyen. chapter 4 yach.

tapi lebih banyak dialog.

tokoh-tokoh baru gitu.

suspense.

komen yak sodara-sodara. mungkin disebarin ke temen2 (penerbit) juga LOL.

p.s. gue baru tau kalo 'i am legend'-nya will smith ternyata diangkat dari buku. berhubung nonton pelemnya asal-asalan, boleh lah kucari bukunya untuk referensi. world war Z dan prekuel-nya juga. hm.

met baca! > > >

There’s nothing much you can do as it is. You either sleep, help around, train, cry, freak out, or talk, and talk and talk.

It’s been exactly two months ever since it all began.

Even for a boy like Ezra who literally never minds basically anything, the unchanging routine is killing him.

But not today though. Today he finds his washed pants and t-shirts are gone from their usual spot on the communal clothesline on the northeast building. There’s a folded A4 paper pinned with the wooden clothespin and it has his name written in bold, block letters.

if ur so great,meet us @ da southwest backyard
We have ur posesion
x

   
“No shit.” Ezra mumbles and shoves the letter into the pocket of his cargo pants, because if anything does go south, all pun intended, he will have it as a proof that he’s not the one initiating shit. After scanning the empty rooftop, he kicks the metal door open with his misplaced strength until it meets the wall and gives a loud bang!

What he’s going to face? It won’t be his first confrontation. A boy like Ezra was misunderstood way too often he didn’t even try to stop pretending that he cared anymore, because he didn’t (doesn’t, will never) give a damn whether his lack of facial expression was annoying a bunch of upperclassmen or whether his choice to be alone was mistranslated as an arrogant I’m-holier-than-thou act from his peers. Like, wasn’t that what they want? For him to be out of their lives? Then why did they always seem to make a hobby out of calling him to ‘have a talk’ right after school at the deserted, public gymnasium where teachers or adult alike wouldn’t know what kind of ‘talk’ they were going to give him? Of course Ezra had had enough of the typical yapping and the following memento of bluing skin on his torso or hips or upper thighs. He’s no less human than them, he didn’t deserve the ‘talk’ at all he made sure he had their regular recorded in his smartphone the last time a dozen of upperclassmen called him to have the ‘talk’—because earlier that day, Ezra remembers vividly, probably because he made sure he stared seconds longer with his soulless, haughty eyes—their words not his—to the upperclassmen’s gang leader who wasn’t even that tall or big, during recess. And that was enough to get his ass dragged to the public gymnasium. He had to stifle his smile while they taunted him with their dull NGAPAIN LO NGELIATIN GUA TADI SIANG, HAH? LO MAU NYARI RIBUT?! LO MAU RIBUT SAMA GUE? LO BERANI RIBUT SAMA GUE?! BARU KELAS SATU AJA LAGAK UDAH KAYAK RAJA—and for the first time ever, and the last, he begged for unheard mercy in between their laughter and mocking HAHAHAHA BARU SEKARANG LO MINTA AMPUN? TELAT NJING!!—assured that his smartphone which was taped tightly on his left ankle, hidden by the pipe of his grey slacks and white socks, had been recording their voices. He went to the principal office the next day, still with fresh bruises on his cheek and stomach, with the voice recording and a sprinkle of victimized sobbing, successfully kicking all of his upperclassmen tormentors out of their school in disgrace, and nobody ever messed with his poker face and his unfriendliness anymore.

He will do it all over again. Zombie apocalypse be damned.

*

When Ezra is lying idly on his bed, hours later, he hears the stomping first before the person owning the expensive boots is appearing on his room’s door without knocking. A boy, short, furious.

Ezra is good with faces, but he’s not good with names.

“What the hell are you doing here?! Nakula’s been waiting for years you dickhead!” Yeah, not this one. Who is this anyway?

Ezra sits up and raises his eyebrows. “Who?”

“What—!” the boy’s mouth forms an O. And then he’s gaping like a fish out of water. “So what they say about you is true. Shit.” Suddenly, he’s laughing without a mirth on his trembling voice. “It’s not funny, you dickhead! Come out and follow me!”

“Why?” Ezra asks again.

“Don’t you want your clothes back?!” the boy is almost shouting by now.

“Oh,” Ezra makes a face, and shrugs. “It’s almost dusk. I’ll go see him after dinner. You didn’t write a specific time at that paper, by the way.”

“My god,” the boy spits it like a curse, “I hope you die!” he points a finger at Ezra and runs.

*

Tonight is fried rice day. Ezra sits at the corner of the dimly lit dining room and only gets four spoonfuls before unfamiliar shadows are falling over him.

“Get up.” Says a pleasant but cruel voice from his right side.

Ezra looks up and squints. Is this Nakula? He recognizes Pipit smirking among the human barricade, and the boy who wished him dead, but the rest, not really.

“I’m eating,” Ezra declares the obvious.

“No you’re not.” Probably-Nakula snatches his paper plate with a lightning speed. Tch. Ezra likes fried rice, he does, he could eat fried rice his mom cooked for a week straight a long time ago. “You’re coming with us, now.”

“Okay.” Ezra stands up and finds he’s eye to eye with Probably-Nakula. Good. He knows being tall is a threat for the nearest self-proclaimed leader like Probably-Nakula, and he’s glad he’s not losing in that petty aspect.

Probably-Nakula starts to walk without any word, still carrying his paper plate, and disposes it at the huge trash bag situated by the entrance. He’s not stupid, then. Ezra tells himself to be extra careful.

They’re heading to the southwest backyard as expected, and Probably-Nakula says conversationally in his mostly pleasant voice, no cruelty detected,

“Jakarta’s sky without pollution for two months, huh?” he speaks to the rest of the group, nodding at the starry sky above them. “It’s beautiful, right?” and echoes of agreement are parroting his statement.

Except for Ezra, who prefers the ocean and its haunting beauty over anything.

“What do you think?” Probably-Nakula is smiling when he addresses our protagonist like they’re old pals from birth.

“Me? Nothing.” Ezra blinks, and hears the sneering and scoffing from Probably-Nakula’s toy soldiers surrounding him.

Probably-Nakula chuckles. “Sure,” he slows down his steps to clap Ezra’s shoulders, “how are you, Ezra?”

“Hungry.” And Most-Likely-Nakula laughs out loud. See? Ezra can be hilarious, too.

“Sorry about that,” Most-Likely-Nakula claps his shoulders again, “but you won’t be hungry anymore once you play with us.”

They arrive at the southwest backyard, protected by ten feet tall black wall and wired fence as cherry on top. About twenty meters behind is the south guard post, currently occupied with fried rice-eating watchmen, their AK-47s are poised ready toward the street outside.

What kind of game are they going play here?

“So!” Verified-Nakula whispers to them all, telling them to crouch down underneath the big rambutan tree. “Who’s excited?”

Hands shooting up so fast Ezra wonders if their muscle joints are alright.

“Who would like to play tonight?” Nakula hums as he scans his eager toy soldiers trying their best to look the most appealing. “Pipit, you’re in, then you, Tyo, David, Ambar, and of course our honorable guest, Ezra.”

T B C . . .

are you, are you coming to the tree?

maksud ane. lu olang udah pada nonton the hunger games: mockingjay?

maksud ane. itu lagu 'the hanging tree' sukses bikin merinding, meskipun dengan rendah hati kukatakan gue biasa-biasa aja sama the hunger games trilogy (baca bukunya pun tidak).

tapi seriusan. lagu itu................................................

gue sering banget nonton film di bioskop selama 11 bulan terakhir di tahun 2014 ini, dan kali pertama gua merinding karena film bioskop itu adalah karena jeng jeng jeng dawn of the planet of the apes, di scene caesar balik ke rumah milik james franco tempat dia dibesarkan dulu, terus dia nonton rekaman video dirinya diajarin main catur sama james franco dan gue pun berkaca-kaca ketika ngetik ini baahahahahhahahahah.

dan kali kedua, yha ini. the hanging tree scene. nggak sanggup sodara-sodara. selain karena liriknya yang ngeri, juga karena aransemen bombastisnya waktu scene peledakan bendungan. ah. mantap.

tapi bamby tetep yah biasa-biasa aja sama the hunger games lol.

anyway.

lo liat itu buku? lo liat bae-bae, dan plis, plis kalo emang lagi bosen ingin ditantang oleh bahasa inggris dan horor dan vampir virus dan cerita yang super seru, plis, tolong, segera baca the strain yang ditulis oleh guillermo del toro (YANG BIKIN PAN'S LABYRINTH ALIAS PELEM YANG TELAH MENGUBAH DIRIKU LOL) dan chuck hogan. plis.

gue beli di periplus lotte shopping avenue kuningan, harga 126 ribu, 585 halaman gue gempur dalam 2,5 hari....................................... dan memang the strain udah jadi original series di FX, cuman setau gue belom ditayangin di indonesah.

trilogi, seperti biasa, dan sejauh ini gue belom liat lanjutannya dijual dimana-mana. ane ga sanggup lagi kudu baca sekuelnya secepat mungkin. karena ane pun jadi yakin bisa terinspirasi buat ezra zombi bahahahahhahahaha.

gue kan baru melewati fase menggemari stephen king, dan gue bisa bilang kalo style mbah king dan duet om del toro-hogan boleh lah dikomparasi dengan adil. semuanya vivid! (candaan a la misery yang gue nggak yakin lo paham atawa kaga). pokoknya daya terornya 'dapet'. gue tinggal menunggu waktu ketika ada sekelebatan-sekelebatan lewat di ujung peripheral vision gue, dan gue yang macho ini bakalan stres sendiri agak-agak teriak dan paranoid dan akhirnya nyengir karena hey, itu artinya ada sebuah buku yang sukses bikin gue yang macho ini........................................

so.

plis.

p.s. gue baru tau di blok m square itu sarangnya buku-buku bekas? siap disatroni. yang mau ikut persenjatai diri sendiri ye kita naik busway lol.

cerita zombi 2

•  jatohnya (masih) character study nih.

si ezra kayaknya bukan psikopat, tapi mengidap asperger syndrome. hmmm.

kuberpikir action nanti di chapter selanjutnya.

big thanks buat joce, dhita, abong, dan zetra yang udah baca dan komen dan brainstorm di FB. iseng-iseng aja ini biar otak gak karatan.

• jangan lupa komen yach!

Before this shit went down, Ezra had to go to a psychiatrist twice every month, usually on Fridays right after school with his mom driving his dad’s SUV, making small talks about her colleagues and asking a lot of things about his day.

Ezra’s mom is (was?) a tall woman. She speaks in a low volume and her tinted red lips are always curling up as if she smiles all the time. She only eats chicken and she only reads fictional politic novels. Actually, she’s five years older than Ezra’s dad, who was (is?) an avid comic book reader. Ezra doesn’t even like to read anything, so that’s pretty much heartbreaking for his dad. Now that he realizes his dad’s comic book collection is probably nothing but ashes thanks to the demolition, well, the left side of Ezra’s chest clenches uncomfortably.

“What are you thinking?”

Ezra glances to where his psychiatrist, Dr. Fulan, is sitting cross legged on the cold, tiled floor.

It’s like a deja vu, because Dr. Fulan would ask about what he was thinking before he asked about what he was feeling, back then in his cozy office with the dimmed lighting and a dozen of bronze plaques for his dedication, accomplishment, and recognition as a renowned psychiatrist. The only different thing is, now Dr. Fulan is dressed in a frayed sweater, a pair of turmeric colored chino, and black sneakers, of all things. His hair is longer, too, unkempt, and his frameless glasses are crooked.

“Me? My dad’s comic books.” Ezra answers, shrugging.

“Oh? What about them?” Dr. Fulan links his fingers together, clearly intending to reestablish himself as Ezra’s former psychiatrist.

“Huh, nothing,” Ezra decides to play along. “They’re gone.”

“And how do you feel about them gone?”

“Nothing. They’re my dad’s.”

“Is there any knickknack of yours that you left behind, Ezra?”

“Yeah, my laptop.”

“Would your laptop help you feeling better in any way if you brought it along?”

“Of course not. It’s not a weapon.”

Dr. Fulan nods, and he sighs.

“Do you think help will come?”

“I don’t know, doctor.”

“Do you miss your parents? Your friends?”

“More or less.”

“Aren’t you worried about them?”

“Eh. No.”

Dr. Fulan leaves without another word and Ezra continues sitting down on the cold, tiled floor, tuning out the bristling all around him at the government’s shelter, and falls asleep.

*

Before this shit went down, Ezra didn’t have to do house chores other than keeping everything neat and clean after usage. Now he has to wash his own clothes, learns how to build something other than Lego, and, weirdly, smiles like everything is alright 24/7.

That’s a lot of work for him.

There are boys and girls around his age, too, and they seem to have a silent agreement to always stick together. They’re loud, they’re giggly, and they get angry when they understand that Ezra is not interested to play with their little merry go round circle, by ostracizing him.

Not that Ezra cares.

The Virus is still incurable. Ezra is good with faces but not names, and he’s been in the government’s shelter for five weeks. So far, he counts less than six people are missing. Or, who is he kidding, ha ha, they’re dead because they showed the symptoms and were quarantined and never came back. Ezra is scared, obviously. He doesn’t want to die, no matter what. The shelter is too crowded, and virus, according to his Science class, travels fast. Even breathing in the same air with the virus bearer can heighten the risk of you getting infected. What the heck, right? Nowhere is safe. For now, Ezra makes sure he lives in the separate headquarters from those unfortunate, dead people (zombies?), keeps his own spoon and fork, and ties a handkerchief around his nose and mouth day and night.

*

Before this shit went down, Ezra spent his leisure time watching TV. He watched everything; ancient football matches, music videos, cheap reality shows, the news, detective/horror series, cartoon adaptation from his dad’s favorite comic book, movies, animal documentaries, culinary reviews, talk shows, even the home shopping channel.

At the government’s shelter, he does nothing. When his chores are finished, he sits down on the cold, tiled floor right across his room, and just exists like that. He doesn’t mind. His hobby is not reading or talking or playing half-assed basketball. He liked his 60” high definition flat screen his dad bought only, what, half a year ago. Now it turned to ashes and he doesn’t know where his dad is.

Half a year ago, huh? He wasn’t seventeen yet. He was eight inches shorter, too. But the numbers don’t matter now.

“Hi.”

Ezra looks up and sees a pixie haired girl smiling down at him. Basically, her t-shirt swallows her upper body and her denim shorts are baggy. She wears a pair of pink sandal. Her toes are, somehow, tended beautifully.

Ezra nods, and uncrosses his arms.

“Can I sit here?” she points at the empty space next to Ezra, and her fingernail is pretty, too.

“Yeah.” Before this shit went down, Ezra didn’t think too much about girls in general. They’re alright. They’re easy on the eyes, they smelled fruity, and they seemed to favor his aloofness.

(Which was kinda ironic because his parents didn’t, thus Dr. Fulan.)

The pixie haired girl then plops down next to him, keeping a distance, and her smile is not blinding or what, but it’s a nice smile.

“Hi, I’m Pipit.”

“Ezra.”

Ezra doesn’t want to shake hands. The Virus, remember? Pipit raises an eyebrow as she pulls back her right hand with a giggle.

“What’s your story, Ezra?” she tilts her head and rests it on her folded knees.

“What do you mean?” Ezra has to readjust his handkerchief around his mouth so he can talk like a normal person.

"Who are you, why are you here, with whom, for how long... The usual.” Pipit smiles again, encouragingly.

"Me? I got here with the federal truck. They destroyed my home. I think I’ve been here for almost six weeks now.” Ezra says with a frown because if he were Pipit, he’s sure he wouldn’t want to know anything about himself.

“That sucks,” she shakes her head, and after a minute or two she bursts out laughing. “Don’t you wanna know about me?”

“Eh,” Ezra mumbles. “Go ahead, I guess.”

“Okay then, say it.”

“Say what?”

“The questions, of course!”

“What questions?”

“About me!”

Ezra can’t decide whether he’s annoyed or not interested, so he gets up and walks away.

T B C. . .

cerita zombi

* iseng. untitled kayak si april.

tapi cerita ini bisa jadi gua bikin serius sih.

setting di jakarta, sejauh ini.

ezra, tokoh utama kita, umurnya tujuh belas tahun. laki-laki. (kemungkinan) psikopat BAHAHAHAH maklum baru nonton film 'nightcrawler'.

eh apaan lagi ye.

semoga jadi bacaan yang kece.

dan bikin lo mikir.

emang sengaja cliffhanger, btw.
soalnya mentok segitu aja lol.

komen ye kalo udah baca xixixixixixi*

When this shit went down, Ezra was at school, sitting absentmindedly on his desk with nothing going on in his head while he was supposed to finish an assignment. He can’t remember what class it was, but he’s sure it was history.

He liked history.

Right now he can’t be absentminded anymore. If he so much loses concentration of whatever is going on around him, he’s going to be some zombies’ dinner. That would be stupid, because he’s survived this far, miles away from his home, smart enough not to make unnecessary noises and stabbing the zombies’ rotten brains with the broom’s handle, a stolen property from his classroom, at first, before switching to knives and a hammer. Besides, those zombies? They’re just stupid people getting killed for panicking and screaming and generally being useless. Ezra is not stupid. Sure the world is messed up, but he doesn’t want to die. He’s only seventeen.

And he’s alone.

Not that he’s complaining.

When this shit went down, he grabbed his bag and took the classroom’s one and only broom with him. Instead of rushing to the main gate to get back home along with hundreds of distressed fifteen to eighteen year olds, he went to the empty canteen, raided every packaged foods he could find, lots of plastic bags, and foolishly so, three bottles of mineral water. He swore he would pay for everything if the shit was only an issue. It isn’t, now, is it? So...

Ezra went home then, his motorcycle was brimmed with gas, but he stopped by the, again, emptied gas station and rummaged through for a tank. He filled two, and the main street was chaotic. People were rushing, private cars, public transportations, buses... all were honking impatiently. There were accidents, too. That made Ezra focused on his motorcycle, and soon enough he was at his housing complex, which was also chaotic because family cars were trying their fastest to get out of there. Ezra’s parents were at work, their offices were next to each other in the city central. They had phoned him and said they’d be home ASAP.

They never showed up.

When this shit went down, Ezra holed up in his two story, minimalistic home with all the doors locked and windows shut. He didn’t turn on any lights at night. He kept a backpack ready within his reach; clothes, foods, water, money, his mom’s jewelries, lighter, flash light, batteries, knives were—some still are—stuffed inside. He monitored the news on muted TV and his class’ group chat on social media, getting some vague information about taking shelter at the president palace or at the nearest police station, hospital, or just stayed home until further notice.

Ezra opted for the later until he got woken up by a blaring siren and a very, very loud vehicle stating that the area, including the housing complex, was going to be demolished in fifteen minutes. That all citizens still living in their houses to get on the federal trucks because they would be evacuated to a safer place.

Ezra remembers the news were speculating about The Virus. Don’t get bit, no matter what happens, they said. Aim for its brain, they advised. Symptoms include coughing, bluing skin and nails, reddened eyes, and pain electrocuting your whole body you’re going to have a hard time breathing. If one of your kins is having those symptoms, better get out before it’s too late, they insisted.

When a little kid sitting right behind the driver in the truck where Ezra was evacuated showed those symptoms, and her parents were looking extra guilty somehow, Ezra stood up and swayed, hauling his bag on his shoulders and ignoring the protest from the people around the cramped truck as he excused himself to move nearer to the door. He thought of asking the police officers assigned to guard their truck to get off, but he scolded himself because no way the little kid would turn any minute now. Besides, there was an annoying woman who kept on asking when were they going to arrive every goddamn second, and the police officers never got tired of telling her that they were only—

That’s when the screaming began.

Ezra remembers a blur of movements, then people shoving him to unlock the door and more unnecessary noises as the little kid chewed on her dad’s bloody arm. The convoy stopped, the police officers were ready with their guns, and when the leader commanded to take down the little kid her mom pleaded to spare her family’s lives. At that point her husband was surely going to turn, and the leader said they couldn’t take a risk.

What made Ezra wonder how fascinating everything is was the way the dad shook his head at his wife and climbed out of the truck holding his daughter tight so she wouldn’t attack the other citizens. He was crying, his wife was wailing, and then he walked away to the direction of a dark alley. The police officers urged them to get back into the truck, but they refused due to the blood on the floor. The leader instructed the floor to be splashed with water and Ezra sure as hell was not going to get back into that truck, hello, The Virus, and moved to the last truck of the convoy, stationing himself near the door again.

lol cerpen untitled

When April was fourteen, she had a boyfriend.
    

He was the head of the class; loud, with almost a constant laugh on his pleasant face and he was really terrible at math. April? April liked math, and so when he helped the math teacher to distribute last week's test results and saw April's glaring 95 score, he went to one knee right there and then next to April's desk and asked April to tutor him.

April shrugged. She had thought it'd be cool to befriend the all around nice guy every single girl in her class seemed to fancy, because at that time she didn't really feel anything about him and she also thought that his determination to get a better score at math was admirable.

One day, as they stayed in the library after school along with a bunch of solemn-looking ninth graders cramming for tryout, he whispered, "You're really different from any other girl."

April looked up from her notebook, eyebrows raised, a teasing smile her father always said will hit a boy in a tingly way was ready on her small mouth.

"How so?" she asked, genuinely curious and conscious that her navy blue tie was askew and her long hair was tied up messily.

"I don't know," he grinned sheepishly. "You're awesome."

"Thanks." She held up a thumb and continued to review what was taught in trigonometry just hours ago.

There was a pause.

"Hey, want to go to Mc Donald's?" he nudged April's shoes with his. "My treat."

"Nice." April nudged his shoes back. "Now?"

"Sure, only if you become my girlfriend." He was sitting across the table and he made a crooked, mismatched half-heart using his pens, a mechanic pencil, and a black eraser. He looked nervous when he threw his hands in the air and whispered again, "What do you say?"

April didn't need to think, this time. She pulled out her pens and pencils and completed the half-heart into a whole replica of what heart was supposed to look like.

She nudged his shoes again.

"I'm so happy right now!" he exclaimed, loud, like he’s supposed to be, and leaned forward to pinch the cleft of April’s chin affectionately.

THE END

review wafer stick

astor, maksudnya.

tapi karena astor itu ternyata brand bukan sebutan untuk kue yang satu ini. yha.

sayangnya untuk review kali ini gue cuma bisa ngasih dua brand ternama aja dengan tampilan mirip. ada banyak brand lainnya dengan tampilan beda tapi juga disebut 'wafer stick'.

berikut asto---i mean wafer stick review:

jawara. lapisan wafernya tebal. cokelatnya emang cokelat beneran. teksturnya lebih keras. namba wan. mahal pula.

untuk sementara di peringkat dua, karena bamby belom nyobain brand lainnya. rasanya? aneh bukan cokelat. cuma manis vanili bubuk yang biasa buat adonan kue lebaran itu loh. tekstur wafer juga teramat sangat tipis. tapi murah. hm.

menurut bamby, wafer stick cihuy buat camilan alternatif. gak terlalu manis-manis khas krim, gak bikin batuk kayak chiki/keripik kentang, isinya banyak, dan gampang dimakan misalnya buat nonton bola atau baca buku bahahahahahh.

sekian!

meskipun nggak macho,

gua tetep harus ngaku.

mungkin udah ada yang baca review buku 'the shining' http://logikatanpacela.blogspot.com/2014/10/review-buku-shining-oleh-stephen-king.html , oke, dan mungkin lo tau kalo gue nggak suka sama 'the shining' ah gak serem ah gak bikin adrenalin terpacu.

so.

hari ini, pagi-pagi begini, gua harus ngaku tampaknya efek ngeri dari 'the shining' nggak langsung muncul abis gua selesai baca.

nope.

efek ngerinya datang setelahnya, sob.

gua harus jujur, setelah menyelesaikan 'the shining', gua jadi sering ngeliat kelebatan-kelebatan tak berbentuk di ujung mata, misalnya ketika gua lagi nonton tv, lagi di dapur, lagi baca koran bola... dan horornya ditambah ketika dua hari yang lalu gua semacam denger suara dari kamar belakang, padahal gua sendirian. padahal siang bolong.

belom lagi mimpi-mimpi aneh BAHAHAHAHHAAAHHAHAHAHAH.

nah loh bam.

review minuman cincau kaleng

memang sesungguhnya bamby adalah fans berat cincau.

lebih enak cincau balok yang bisa lo beli di pasar atau supermarket, tapi berikut gua bakal review minuman cincau kaleng dari berbagai brand:

nggak remarkable rasanya. cincaunya kecil kecil tipis. airnya juga berasa cuma gula. hm.

yang ini rasanya mirip sama yeo's, tapi agak lebih enak dan lebih mending. cincaunya juga kecil-kecil tapi.

nah, yang ini pintar dikasih sedotan gede. susah dapet cincaunya kalo minum cincau kaleng diteguk begitu. meskipun pake madu, sayangnya rasanya masih kurang cihuy.

lha. kalo yang ini jawara. rasa madunya terasa. airnya kurang enak, tapi. tapi. tapi rasa madunya kuat dan cincaunya gede-gede. begitulah.

review buku: 'the shining' oleh stephen king

hai, pakabar?

kali ini buku yang bakal gua review adalah ‘the shining’ oleh pakde stephen king.

gua pernah review ‘misery’ http://logikatanpacela.blogspot.com/2014/02/review-buku-misery-by-stephen-f-king.html

dan wow terakhir kalinya gua review buku di blog ini bulan agustus kemarin? bah, bam, yang bener aja! hahahahhaha.

oke oke.

dan ‘the shining’ masuk ke dalam daftar 100 books you must read before you die from the 1700s, 1800s, 1900s, to 2000s, gua baca di toko buku germadai di PIM kan, dan gua juga beli ‘the shining’ di situ, satu minggu yang lalu. tentu saja fakta itu bikin gua makin semangat buat baca kan ye.

‘the shining’ harganya 112 ribu, tebalnya 659 halaman (kalo PIM kejauhan di germadai ciputra cibubur juga ada saya sudah riset).

dari instagram gua loh, cekidot http://instagram.com/ybamb

nah.

dengan berat hati gua harus bilang kalo gua masih lebih suka ‘misery’ yang nggak masuk dalam daftar 100 books you must read before you die ketimbang ‘the shining’.

kenapa?

1) adrenalin nggak terpacu sob.
nggak kayak ‘misery’ yang bikin merinding dan super ngilu itu. padahal emang ada lumayan banyak adegan berdarah-darah yang VIVID! dan mayan sadis. tapi tetep aja nggak se-sadis ‘misery’.

2) nggak serem ah.
padahal ada hantunya, penampakan, kontak berbahaya dengan hantu tersebut, hewan-hewan yang dibentuk dari semak yang bisa hidup dan buas, modus mengerikan, de el el. tapi hantu bule emang nggak pernah serem.................

3) ya intinya mungkin bamby ekspektasinya berlebihan ye kan, soalnya gua udah baca ‘misery’ dan dua buku kumpulan cerpen pakde king (yang emang nggak semua cerpennya cihuy, gue emang ngefans tapi gue nggak serta merta dengan butanya suka semua buku pakde king LOL). plus, film ‘the shining’ yang dibintangi jack nicholson dan disutradarai stanley kubrick ngehits banget dan juga disebut-sebut sebagai salah satu film horor terhoror sepanjang masa (gua belom nonton sih cuma liat trailernya). apaan. kalo bukunya kaga serem berarti filmnya juga nggak cihuy (biasanya kan memang begitu adanya kalo ada buku yang diangkat jadi film).

tapi.
bukan berarti bamby nggak geleng-geleng kepala saking hebatnya pakde king, bukan.

gua tetep dibikin geleng-geleng kepala kok, takjub, bahasa gampangnya. latar belakang tiap karakter yaitu bapake, ibune, anak kecil cowok dan koki kulit hitam beneran bisa bikin lo simpati dan ‘ngerti’ oh pantesan si bapak pemabok, oh pantesan si ibu suka jeles, oh anu oh itu, gitchu sodara-sodara. nggak setengah-setengah lah gimana masa lalu dan latar belakang karakter dibentuk untuk kemudian disambungkan dengan kejadian mengerikan di hotel overlook (setting utama novel ini).

maksud gua nggak mungkin kalo lo cuman penulis tete bisa mengolah cerita sampe sebegitunya.

maksud gua REDRUM.

bahahhahahahahah.

ah bete dech review buku kalo nggak atau belum atau nggak ada yang tertarik buat baca buku tersebut.
di jakarta ada klub buku nggak sih? buat diskusi dan menyampaikan perspektif kitorang tentang suatu buku? atau klub buku online dah.
lol.

oke segitu aja.

thanks for tuning in!

bamby dan lelaki di bis (bus?)

karena gua penganut filosofi ah-gak-kenal-ini-bodo-amat dan YOLO, beberapa jam yang lalu gua ngajak ngobrol cowok keriting, berkacamata, berkumis, kurus kecil, caem, putih, pake gelang leher (bukan kalung emas), dan bergaya macam anak gunung plus kenecisan setengah hati karena sepatunya moccasin rapi pake kaos kaki gitu.

tapi yang bikin pengalaman YOLO barusan patut dijadikan entri logika tanpa cela adalah, gua nyadar gua ngajak dia ngobrol seolah-olah gua lah cowoknya dan dia ceweknya. dan gua (yang berasa cowok) bukannya flirting tapi cuman murni mau ngobrol sama dia karena perjalanan bis yang panjang. sedih amat kayaknya kalo cuma berdiri berdesak-desakkan tanpa upaya untuk membuka cakrawala pertemanan.

bisa dikatakan, tadi itu gua (bamby) termasuk tipe cowok yang smooth; percaya diri, tertawa di saat yang tepat, menatap kedua matanya ketika ngobrol, dan macho bener gitu kesannya karena gua nggak cekikikan centil dan justru... ya itu... macho.

terus gua ngakak sendiri waktu turun dari bis. malu gitu deh, soalnya gua nyadar gua sengaja “jadi cowok” karena gua pengen tau ente-ente pada (yang cowok tulen) kayak gimana sih kalo ganteng dan lagi ngajak ngobrol cewek.

ngerti kan, ya? BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

yha. lanjut.

cuplikan obrolan gender switch di bis, featuring bamby dan cowok yang turun di kota wisata soalnya besok idul adha dan dia mengunjungi orang tuanya (nah loh kok tau bam?):

(ada ibu-ibu turun kan, nah gua dan cowok itu berdiri berhadapan di bis yang penuh sesak.)

bamby macho (bm) : itu bikin atau beli? (sambil menunjuk ke gelang leher)

cowok kacamata kalem caem (ckkc) : ?

bm : itu (nunjuk lagi)

ckkc : oh, di jogja

bm yang pengen gelang leher begitu sejak dua hari yang lalu, wah takdir yah : seriusan? dimananya?

ckkc : malioboro, deket stasiun itu

bm : terus itu makenya gimana? diiket? atau makenya kayak gelang lo gini? (karena dia pake gelang jaman sekarang itu loh, banyak banget di pergelangan tangan kirinya yang kurus kecil itu...)

ckkc : iya, lo pake gitu aja (ngasih instruksi gak jelas)

bm : bahannya sama kayak gelang lo?

ckkc : nggak sih, ini dari papua (nunjuk gelangnya)

bm : (mengangguk-angguk macho sambil pasang headset ipod lagi dengerin arctic monkeys)

kemudian gua diem dia diem. cibubur macet.

cowok kacamata kalem membuat sebuah gerakan dengan tangannya, lalu bertanya ketika bamby menengok ke arahnya,

ckkc : kenapa emangnya? lo suka?

bm : yoi, gua emang lagi nyari sih

diem lagi.

karena prinsip hidup ah-gak-kenal-ini-bodo-amat dan YOLO, bamby iseng membuka obrolan,

bm : lo pernah nonton the conjuring gak? film horor itu

ckkc : gak suka nonton film horor

bm : kenapa? (ketawa ganteng, nada sok cool) takut?

ckkc : (muka datar karena kalem) nggak, ngapain aja gitu nonton film cuma dibuat takut

bm : makanya itu, gua penasaran. gua juga belom pernah nonton film horor. anabelle heboh banget gitu

ckkc : (diem)

bm : (berasa paling ganteng padahal rambut dikepang) emang film yang bagus buat lo yang kayak gimana?

ckkc : gue mending nonton film tentang bank

bm : hah? like what?

ckkc : misalnya the international, margin shift

bm : (mengangguk-angguk sok simpati) itu tentang bank semua gitu?

ckkc : iya

diem bentar doang, karena YOLO.

bm : turun mana lo?

ckkc : gue dari jakarta

bm : (senyum ganteng lagi) bukan, lo turun mana?

ckkc : (nyengir malu sedetik saja tapi karena bamby adalah cucu hercule poirot cengiran malu itu tertangkap oleh kemampuan deduksi terlatih) oh, kota wisata

bm : oh

ckkc : gue ngunjungin rumah orang tua di kota wisata

bm : (nggak denger dia ngomong apa, so gua mencari kedua matanya dan bertanya dengan alis berkerut)

ckkc : gue ngunjungin rumah orang tua di kota wisata

bm : (dengan sok kece plus senyuman maut) kenapa lo? merantau?

ckkc : nggak, besok kan idul adha

bm : oh iya bener. salam ya

ckkc : (ketawa kaget mungkin ketakutan)

diem lagi deh.

ckkc : ini macet sampe mana?

bm : (dengan sigap dan ganteng menjawab) masih jauh ini. ada pekerjaan galian deket rumah sakit mitra. lewatin mal satu, terus mal satu lagi, yah sampe kotwis lah macetnya

ckkc : (diem)

yaudah deh. gua turun deh di depan plasa cibubur. gua bilang duluan ye (bukan ya) dan thanks. tamat.

salam YOLO.

* ps. terasa nggak kegantengan gua (bamby) barusan?
kalo kurang ganteng besok-besok gua tambahin kadar kegantengannya, gituh.

obsesi

pake kapur (atau soft crayon tapi ga berminyak), beli di toko alat2 lukis di ambarrukmo plaza yogyakarta seharga 2,500 sebatang. sejauh ini belom nemu di mall deket rumah. sial.

cara pakai:
rambut dibasahin pake air mengalir lebih cihuy.
kapur digosok searah sampe keliatan warnanya.
kalo lo punya alat pengeriting (curling iron) atau alat catok, nah pake dah. gue pakenya alat catok. dari tutorial sih supaya warnanya lebih 'terang' pake curling iron/alat catok yang panas itu.
hati-hati aja rambut kusut di bagian yang berwarna.
saran gue disisir dulu sebelum di-curling/catok.
tapi takutnya warnanya ilang di gerigi sisir ye.
ah.

menyembuhkan segala penyakit kecuali kematian. kemarin puasa mulai minum habbatussauda (beda brand) dan beneran kuat puasanya meski sahur makan gak jelas.

lalu nyoba brand yang ini. jadi kuat dah bener.

dua hari lalu gue keracunan somay kan (caelah) udah nyaris muntah lah intinya, minum ini satu kapsul, tidur nyenyak.

sehari satu kapsul aja, dan ga perlu setiap hari. lo minum waktu berasa body ga cihuy lah gitu. dijamin. brand apa aja terserah sih, sama aja. yang di foto ini plus olive oil. kalo mau nyari di guardian/century ada gue pernah liat.

dari apa yang gue google, habbatussauda ada disebut di al qur'an. so.

gua nggak yakin ini namanya apaan.

sendal refleksi?

yang jelas ini oke punya juga. gua nggak tau sebenernya khasiatnya apaan, tapi kaki yang tadinya pegel pun tidak pegal lagi setelah memakai sendal yang dibanderol 15,000 rupiah ini.

tentang labeling dan produk massal keluaran pabrik

bakal rada serius nih bahahahha. semoga bisa jadi bahan bacaan yang cihuy.

gue inget seorang temen feminin tapi berperangai keras dan super-kocak pernah bilang kalo dia lebih memilih buat sendiri dulu daripada di kemudian hari dikenal orang HANYA sebagai, “oh, si x? yang blablabla itu? iya tau. mantannya y kan? mending kalo mantannya satu atau dua orang, bam. kalo banyak?”—dan gue sejak saat itu emang mikir, hm, ada benernya juga ya, tapi cuman sebatas itu aja opini gue tentang pernyataan tersebut.

satu minggu yang lalu, gue membuktikan sendiri bagaimana pernyataan tersebut ternyata lumayan bikin geleng-geleng—bagaimana gue lantas mengangkat topik ‘labeling’ kali ini.

so.

satu minggu yang lalu, gue yakin ngeliat senior angkatan di suatu tempat, tapi gue nggak inget namanya siapa. kemudian gue ketemu temen-temen angkatan gue, dan kita sepakat kalo cowok itu emang senior angkatan kita. walhasil, ada yang mengklarifikasi dengan penuh kepastian, “iya mas itu. mantannya anu.”

nah loh.

selang beberapa hari, gue nonton TV. tepatnya, channel V. artist of the month-nya waktu itu si rita ora yang lagi promo single terbarunya ‘i will never let you down’. kocaknya nih, narator channel V pun ngasih embel-embel, “single yang diproduseri oleh mantan kekasihnya yaitu calvin harris blablabala...”

mulai ngeh kan lo sama juntrungan topik ‘labeling’ ini?

kalo gue mikirnya, nggak cihuy amat kayaknya yeee diinget sama orang-orang dengan label “mantannya x/y/z”? nggak berprestasi amat gitu, meskipun faktanya, yah, lu olang emang mantannya si x/y/z. gue mikirnya kayak ada sesuatu yang menyalahi diri lo sebagai seorang manusia, ketika lo diidentifikasi sesuai siapa mantan lo. bukan HAM lo sih yang dilanggar, bahahahahaha, harga diri lo, mungkin? apalagi kalo ada ‘masalah’ sama mantan tersebut. berabe kayaknya tuh.

tapi yeee nggak cuma dari ‘mantan’ aja sih. misal bapak lo pejabat atau direktur kebun jagung, ya kan? yang macam itu justru kayak beban gitu kali, ya? apa gimana? ah bam lo gak ada kerjaan aje kali nih. iya kali ye. yaudah. sub-judul kedua.

nih lagunya mbak rita ora.

→ →

→ →

→

yang gue maksud ‘produk massal keluaran pabrik’ disini yaitu, ketika beberapa jam yang lalu gue ke PIM 1-2 dan di setiap sudut mall tersebut berceceran cewe-cewe segala usia berpakaian serupa: atasan kaos ketat plus rok hitam agak mengembang di atas lutut dan entah sneakers/flats/sepatu apa itu gatau namanya. sayang banget gue nggak ngambil foto-foto bukti sama sekali. padahal menarik banget topik ini kalo menurut kacamata owe.

seperti kata anak G4uL masa kini, “literally di setiap sudut, bray.”

oleh karenanya, gue pikir nggak ada salahnya kalo gue menjuluki mereka cewe-cewe cantik dan manis itu sebagai ‘produk massal keluaran pabrik’, atau gampangnya ‘pabrikan’ (dengan konotasi yang tidak positif-tidak negatif, karena bamby tahu benar indonesia adalah negara demokrasi dan semua orang bebas untuk berekspresi, layaknya bamby yang menulis entri ini).

satu hal yang i just can’t help but wonder twenty nine my age yah, apakah fenomena ‘pabrikan’ yang bamby lihat dalam bidang fashion ini yang dinamakan ‘trend’? kalo memang begitu adanya, loh, ‘trend’ itu nggak cihuy dong? ‘trend’ itu nggak mampu memaksimalkan style individual cewe-cewe cantik dan manis itu dong, karena mereka lebih memilih untuk tampil serupa a la produk massal keluaran pabrik begitu?

loh.

loh bam lo kemana aja bam?

mungkin gue kelamaan di jogja.

mungkin setelah nonton film lucy kinerja otak gue lumayan dipake gitu kira-kira 29%.

atau mungkin bamby cuma iseng nggak ada kerjaan aja.

seandainya lo (siapapun yang baca entri ini) tadi ke PIM 1-2 bareng gue, pasti bisa menyaksikan sendiri fenomena ‘pabrikan’ tersebut. luangkan deh waktu lo minggu depan saat weekend buat jalan-jalan ke mall yang cihuy, dan temukan cewe-cewe cantik dan manis memakai atasan kaos ketat plus rok hitam agak mengembang di atas lutut dan entah sneakers/flats/sepatu apa itu gatau namanya.

gimana ye.

apakah ‘trend’ itu diciptakan untuk ditiru mentah-mentah? lalu seseorang yang ‘ngetrend’ itu, dia sadar nggak kalo dia terlihat mirip dengan ratusan orang ‘ngetrend’ lainnya? kalo sadar, terus kenapa diikutin ‘trend’-nya? kenapa kalo sadar, lantas membiarkan dirinya terlihat bagaikan produk massal keluaran pabrik?

ah sok bangats lau bam, mentang-mentang bukan cewe.

bukan, bukan gitu sodara-sodara. gue murni bertanya. sebutkan kelebihan yang anda miliki, kata lembar biodata untuk melamar ke perusahaan-perusahaan, dan karena dalam bahasa indonesia kata 'jujur' maknanya amat sangat luas, "gue kalo nanya ya nanya, kalo menghina ya menghina, kalo gue bilang gue nggak bisa ya gue nggak bisa bukannya sok-sokan merendah biar disanjung, dan kalo gue memuji ya memuji nggak ada 'maunya' di balik pujian gue buat lo."

jadi yaudah. gue cuman nanya gitu lho, dengan nada terdatar yang pernah ada. no sarcasm at all this time. lu siapa bam mempertanyakan 'trend' yang beredar di masyarakat? masyarakatnya kan happy sama 'trend' itu.

nah itu dia.

sekian.

selamat malam!

lol packaging dan lol menu restoran

kata pepatah "a picture is worth a thousand words", jadi yha liat dah ini kocak:

jadi isinya kurang dari setengah packaging, oleh karena itu judulnya begitu. yha untung rasanya lumayan enak. harganya cuman 8.000, segera dapatkan di minimarket terdekat.

beralih ke sub judul kedua:

yha mungkin yang ngetik chocolate lagi minum latte ye kan?

tapi yang jadi pertanyaan w (bahasa anak G4uL) itu snickers digoreng?

beneran digoreng?

pake apaan ya itu bisa ada 'kulitnya' begitu?

telur?

tepung?

w gak nanya mas-masnya sih ya. ah bamby.

p.s. liat keanehan lainnya, kan? tertulis "vanilla ice cream", tapi di fotonya... stroberi.

ini menu di restoran baru cihuy enak2 makanannya deket rumah gua, yang pastinya berada di daerah antah berantah, so. yha.