Wednesday, December 20, 2017


i.
what a craft. just how many times did you lie on paper that you have never felt like throwing things around or breaking things apart, huh, because apparently you don’t like to talk, do you, why should you, anyway, if making a damage to your knuckles or any cheap wooden door was enough?

ii.
it’s enough.
because talking is a vicious circle and everyone is seeing the difference, those who understand or in amazement, those who feel the same and have other ways to unfuck themselves. you’re all the same. all no thanks to her.

iii.
what a masterpiece. is it because she’s considered young, still, already privileged just like the rest of her merry band of the snob, all blind to the blatant disrespect they’ve got because that’s how they treat others anyway, so it’s a win-win situation for all of us. or not. i stopped caring the first twelve weeks and now, in my second new year, i’ll say this as easily as whenever the sun rises in the east;

the only thing i learned from you is how not to be you

iv.
i understand nobody’s perfect, but she's the worst person i’ve ever had the displeasure to work with.

v.
go on, revise this.



september 22 - october 23




i don’t talk about you a lot.

you;
 who came after him and made, make, us worry
a lot
because you weren’t us you

         you who speak it but don’t really get the rest
because you
are you;
   the one who understands and
         gets it
          that everything is not the same
           that he’s got the uninvited friend staying for a while and we

we should
 be more patient
       more less worrying everyone
        more keeping everything stay the same.

i’m sorry.

consider: when i say leave me alone—
 (in the future, as we close the five days gap a week on
   a sunny saturday morning)
don’t.
            stay,
             because it’s you;
                                        because that’s what you
have always been doing
         because that’s where you belong,
          because then he will join
           and we’ll be together again.

everything i do,
   in every prayer,
       whatever it is someone like me who learned it the hard way when he
said i favored you over him and
the times i did do,
 


                     it has, will, always been for you (two).





Saturday, December 16, 2017

12


on my way home today
   a girl got off at your school and
   her mom followed

then i thought it must be
the day you're supposed
 to receive your
       report card but it
       hasn't been like that for you,
              has it?

how many times, i wonder?

how many times did you
     dress nicely in
something other than the white shirt
and the grey slacks to
 go to school with
          different excitement
             different purpose
               because

today was supposed to be the day you
   received your report card but
    it's okay even if it hasn't been like that for a while







I (F/30) am my father's son

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