Friday, November 21, 2014

cerita zombi



* iseng. untitled kayak si april.
tapi cerita ini bisa jadi gua bikin serius sih.

setting di jakarta, sejauh ini.
ezra, tokoh utama kita, umurnya tujuh belas tahun. laki-laki. (kemungkinan) psikopat BAHAHAHAH maklum baru nonton film 'nightcrawler'.

eh apaan lagi ye.
semoga jadi bacaan yang kece.
dan bikin lo mikir.

emang sengaja cliffhanger, btw.
soalnya mentok segitu aja lol.
komen ye kalo udah baca xixixixixixi*





When this shit went down, Ezra was at school, sitting absentmindedly on his desk with nothing going on in his head while he was supposed to finish an assignment. He can’t remember what class it was, but he’s sure it was history.

He liked history.

Right now he can’t be absentminded anymore. If he so much loses concentration of whatever is going on around him, he’s going to be some zombies’ dinner. That would be stupid, because he’s survived this far, miles away from his home, smart enough not to make unnecessary noises and stabbing the zombies’ rotten brains with the broom’s handle, a stolen property from his classroom, at first, before switching to knives and a hammer. Besides, those zombies? They’re just stupid people getting killed for panicking and screaming and generally being useless. Ezra is not stupid. Sure the world is messed up, but he doesn’t want to die. He’s only seventeen.

And he’s alone.

Not that he’s complaining.

When this shit went down, he grabbed his bag and took the classroom’s one and only broom with him. Instead of rushing to the main gate to get back home along with hundreds of distressed fifteen to eighteen year olds, he went to the empty canteen, raided every packaged foods he could find, lots of plastic bags, and foolishly so, three bottles of mineral water. He swore he would pay for everything if the shit was only an issue. It isn’t, now, is it? So...

Ezra went home then, his motorcycle was brimmed with gas, but he stopped by the, again, emptied gas station and rummaged through for a tank. He filled two, and the main street was chaotic. People were rushing, private cars, public transportations, buses... all were honking impatiently. There were accidents, too. That made Ezra focused on his motorcycle, and soon enough he was at his housing complex, which was also chaotic because family cars were trying their fastest to get out of there. Ezra’s parents were at work, their offices were next to each other in the city central. They had phoned him and said they’d be home ASAP.

They never showed up.

When this shit went down, Ezra holed up in his two story, minimalistic home with all the doors locked and windows shut. He didn’t turn on any lights at night. He kept a backpack ready within his reach; clothes, foods, water, money, his mom’s jewelries, lighter, flash light, batteries, knives were—some still are—stuffed inside. He monitored the news on muted TV and his class’ group chat on social media, getting some vague information about taking shelter at the president palace or at the nearest police station, hospital, or just stayed home until further notice.

Ezra opted for the later until he got woken up by a blaring siren and a very, very loud vehicle stating that the area, including the housing complex, was going to be demolished in fifteen minutes. That all citizens still living in their houses to get on the federal trucks because they would be evacuated to a safer place.

Ezra remembers the news were speculating about The Virus. Don’t get bit, no matter what happens, they said. Aim for its brain, they advised. Symptoms include coughing, bluing skin and nails, reddened eyes, and pain electrocuting your whole body you’re going to have a hard time breathing. If one of your kins is having those symptoms, better get out before it’s too late, they insisted.

When a little kid sitting right behind the driver in the truck where Ezra was evacuated showed those symptoms, and her parents were looking extra guilty somehow, Ezra stood up and swayed, hauling his bag on his shoulders and ignoring the protest from the people around the cramped truck as he excused himself to move nearer to the door. He thought of asking the police officers assigned to guard their truck to get off, but he scolded himself because no way the little kid would turn any minute now. Besides, there was an annoying woman who kept on asking when were they going to arrive every goddamn second, and the police officers never got tired of telling her that they were only—

That’s when the screaming began.

Ezra remembers a blur of movements, then people shoving him to unlock the door and more unnecessary noises as the little kid chewed on her dad’s bloody arm. The convoy stopped, the police officers were ready with their guns, and when the leader commanded to take down the little kid her mom pleaded to spare her family’s lives. At that point her husband was surely going to turn, and the leader said they couldn’t take a risk.

What made Ezra wonder how fascinating everything is was the way the dad shook his head at his wife and climbed out of the truck holding his daughter tight so she wouldn’t attack the other citizens. He was crying, his wife was wailing, and then he walked away to the direction of a dark alley. The police officers urged them to get back into the truck, but they refused due to the blood on the floor. The leader instructed the floor to be splashed with water and Ezra sure as hell was not going to get back into that truck, hello, The Virus, and moved to the last truck of the convoy, stationing himself near the door again.




Wednesday, November 19, 2014

lol cerpen untitled




When April was fourteen, she had a boyfriend.
    
He was the head of the class; loud, with almost a constant laugh on his pleasant face and he was really terrible at math. April? April liked math, and so when he helped the math teacher to distribute last week's test results and saw April's glaring 95 score, he went to one knee right there and then next to April's desk and asked April to tutor him.

April shrugged. She had thought it'd be cool to befriend the all around nice guy every single girl in her class seemed to fancy, because at that time she didn't really feel anything about him and she also thought that his determination to get a better score at math was admirable.

One day, as they stayed in the library after school along with a bunch of solemn-looking ninth graders cramming for tryout, he whispered, "You're really different from any other girl."

April looked up from her notebook, eyebrows raised, a teasing smile her father always said will hit a boy in a tingly way was ready on her small mouth.

"How so?" she asked, genuinely curious and conscious that her navy blue tie was askew and her long hair was tied up messily.

"I don't know," he grinned sheepishly. "You're awesome."

"Thanks." She held up a thumb and continued to review what was taught in trigonometry just hours ago.

There was a pause.

"Hey, want to go to Mc Donald's?" he nudged April's shoes with his. "My treat."

"Nice." April nudged his shoes back. "Now?"

"Sure, only if you become my girlfriend." He was sitting across the table and he made a crooked, mismatched half-heart using his pens, a mechanic pencil, and a black eraser. He looked nervous when he threw his hands in the air and whispered again, "What do you say?"

April didn't need to think, this time. She pulled out her pens and pencils and completed the half-heart into a whole replica of what heart was supposed to look like.

She nudged his shoes again.

"I'm so happy right now!" he exclaimed, loud, like he’s supposed to be, and leaned forward to pinch the cleft of April’s chin affectionately.

THE END



Monday, November 17, 2014

review wafer stick

astor, maksudnya.

tapi karena astor itu ternyata brand bukan sebutan untuk kue yang satu ini. yha.

sayangnya untuk review kali ini gue cuma bisa ngasih dua brand ternama aja dengan tampilan mirip. ada banyak brand lainnya dengan tampilan beda tapi juga disebut 'wafer stick'.

berikut asto---i mean wafer stick review:

jawara. lapisan wafernya tebal. cokelatnya emang cokelat beneran. teksturnya lebih keras. namba wan. mahal pula.



untuk sementara di peringkat dua, karena bamby belom nyobain brand lainnya. rasanya? aneh bukan cokelat. cuma manis vanili bubuk yang biasa buat adonan kue lebaran itu loh. tekstur wafer juga teramat sangat tipis. tapi murah. hm.



menurut bamby, wafer stick cihuy buat camilan alternatif. gak terlalu manis-manis khas krim, gak bikin batuk kayak chiki/keripik kentang, isinya banyak, dan gampang dimakan misalnya buat nonton bola atau baca buku bahahahahahh.

sekian!


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

meskipun nggak macho,

gua tetep harus ngaku.

mungkin udah ada yang baca review buku 'the shining' http://logikatanpacela.blogspot.com/2014/10/review-buku-shining-oleh-stephen-king.html , oke, dan mungkin lo tau kalo gue nggak suka sama 'the shining' ah gak serem ah gak bikin adrenalin terpacu.

so.

hari ini, pagi-pagi begini, gua harus ngaku tampaknya efek ngeri dari 'the shining' nggak langsung muncul abis gua selesai baca.

nope.

efek ngerinya datang setelahnya, sob.

gua harus jujur, setelah menyelesaikan 'the shining', gua jadi sering ngeliat kelebatan-kelebatan tak berbentuk di ujung mata, misalnya ketika gua lagi nonton tv, lagi di dapur, lagi baca koran bola... dan horornya ditambah ketika dua hari yang lalu gua semacam denger suara dari kamar belakang, padahal gua sendirian. padahal siang bolong.

belom lagi mimpi-mimpi aneh BAHAHAHAHHAAAHHAHAHAHAH.

nah loh bam.



Sunday, October 26, 2014

review minuman cincau kaleng

memang sesungguhnya bamby adalah fans berat cincau.

lebih enak cincau balok yang bisa lo beli di pasar atau supermarket, tapi berikut gua bakal review minuman cincau kaleng dari berbagai brand:

nggak remarkable rasanya. cincaunya kecil kecil tipis. airnya juga berasa cuma gula. hm.




yang ini rasanya mirip sama yeo's, tapi agak lebih enak dan lebih mending. cincaunya juga kecil-kecil tapi.



nah, yang ini pintar dikasih sedotan gede. susah dapet cincaunya kalo minum cincau kaleng diteguk begitu. meskipun pake madu, sayangnya rasanya masih kurang cihuy.





lha. kalo yang ini jawara. rasa madunya terasa. airnya kurang enak, tapi. tapi. tapi rasa madunya kuat dan cincaunya gede-gede. begitulah.





Friday, October 24, 2014

review buku: 'the shining' oleh stephen king

hai, pakabar?

kali ini buku yang bakal gua review adalah ‘the shining’ oleh pakde stephen king.

gua pernah review ‘misery’ http://logikatanpacela.blogspot.com/2014/02/review-buku-misery-by-stephen-f-king.html
dan wow terakhir kalinya gua review buku di blog ini bulan agustus kemarin? bah, bam, yang bener aja! hahahahhaha.

oke oke.

dan ‘the shining’ masuk ke dalam daftar 100 books you must read before you die from the 1700s, 1800s, 1900s, to 2000s, gua baca di toko buku germadai di PIM kan, dan gua juga beli ‘the shining’ di situ, satu minggu yang lalu. tentu saja fakta itu bikin gua makin semangat buat baca kan ye.

‘the shining’ harganya 112 ribu, tebalnya 659 halaman (kalo PIM kejauhan di germadai ciputra cibubur juga ada saya sudah riset).
dari instagram gua loh, cekidot http://instagram.com/ybamb


nah.

dengan berat hati gua harus bilang kalo gua masih lebih suka ‘misery’ yang nggak masuk dalam daftar 100 books you must read before you die ketimbang ‘the shining’.

kenapa?

1) adrenalin nggak terpacu sob.
nggak kayak ‘misery’ yang bikin merinding dan super ngilu itu. padahal emang ada lumayan banyak adegan berdarah-darah yang VIVID! dan mayan sadis. tapi tetep aja nggak se-sadis ‘misery’.

2) nggak serem ah.
padahal ada hantunya, penampakan, kontak berbahaya dengan hantu tersebut, hewan-hewan yang dibentuk dari semak yang bisa hidup dan buas, modus mengerikan, de el el. tapi hantu bule emang nggak pernah serem.................

3) ya intinya mungkin bamby ekspektasinya berlebihan ye kan, soalnya gua udah baca ‘misery’ dan dua buku kumpulan cerpen pakde king (yang emang nggak semua cerpennya cihuy, gue emang ngefans tapi gue nggak serta merta dengan butanya suka semua buku pakde king LOL). plus, film ‘the shining’ yang dibintangi jack nicholson dan disutradarai stanley kubrick ngehits banget dan juga disebut-sebut sebagai salah satu film horor terhoror sepanjang masa (gua belom nonton sih cuma liat trailernya). apaan. kalo bukunya kaga serem berarti filmnya juga nggak cihuy (biasanya kan memang begitu adanya kalo ada buku yang diangkat jadi film).

tapi.
bukan berarti bamby nggak geleng-geleng kepala saking hebatnya pakde king, bukan.

gua tetep dibikin geleng-geleng kepala kok, takjub, bahasa gampangnya. latar belakang tiap karakter yaitu bapake, ibune, anak kecil cowok dan koki kulit hitam beneran bisa bikin lo simpati dan ‘ngerti’ oh pantesan si bapak pemabok, oh pantesan si ibu suka jeles, oh anu oh itu, gitchu sodara-sodara. nggak setengah-setengah lah gimana masa lalu dan latar belakang karakter dibentuk untuk kemudian disambungkan dengan kejadian mengerikan di hotel overlook (setting utama novel ini).

maksud gua nggak mungkin kalo lo cuman penulis tete bisa mengolah cerita sampe sebegitunya.

maksud gua REDRUM.

bahahhahahahahah.

ah bete dech review buku kalo nggak atau belum atau nggak ada yang tertarik buat baca buku tersebut.
di jakarta ada klub buku nggak sih? buat diskusi dan menyampaikan perspektif kitorang tentang suatu buku? atau klub buku online dah.
lol.

oke segitu aja.

thanks for tuning in!




Saturday, October 4, 2014

bamby dan lelaki di bis (bus?)



karena gua penganut filosofi ah-gak-kenal-ini-bodo-amat dan YOLO, beberapa jam yang lalu gua ngajak ngobrol cowok keriting, berkacamata, berkumis, kurus kecil, caem, putih, pake gelang leher (bukan kalung emas), dan bergaya macam anak gunung plus kenecisan setengah hati karena sepatunya moccasin rapi pake kaos kaki gitu.

tapi yang bikin pengalaman YOLO barusan patut dijadikan entri logika tanpa cela adalah, gua nyadar gua ngajak dia ngobrol seolah-olah gua lah cowoknya dan dia ceweknya. dan gua (yang berasa cowok) bukannya flirting tapi cuman murni mau ngobrol sama dia karena perjalanan bis yang panjang. sedih amat kayaknya kalo cuma berdiri berdesak-desakkan tanpa upaya untuk membuka cakrawala pertemanan.

bisa dikatakan, tadi itu gua (bamby) termasuk tipe cowok yang smooth; percaya diri, tertawa di saat yang tepat, menatap kedua matanya ketika ngobrol, dan macho bener gitu kesannya karena gua nggak cekikikan centil dan justru... ya itu... macho.

terus gua ngakak sendiri waktu turun dari bis. malu gitu deh, soalnya gua nyadar gua sengaja “jadi cowok” karena gua pengen tau ente-ente pada (yang cowok tulen) kayak gimana sih kalo ganteng dan lagi ngajak ngobrol cewek.

ngerti kan, ya? BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

yha. lanjut.

cuplikan obrolan gender switch di bis, featuring bamby dan cowok yang turun di kota wisata soalnya besok idul adha dan dia mengunjungi orang tuanya (nah loh kok tau bam?):

(ada ibu-ibu turun kan, nah gua dan cowok itu berdiri berhadapan di bis yang penuh sesak.)

bamby macho (bm) : itu bikin atau beli? (sambil menunjuk ke gelang leher)

cowok kacamata kalem caem (ckkc) : ?

bm : itu (nunjuk lagi)

ckkc
: oh, di jogja

bm yang pengen gelang leher begitu sejak dua hari yang lalu, wah takdir yah : seriusan? dimananya?

ckkc : malioboro, deket stasiun itu

bm : terus itu makenya gimana? diiket? atau makenya kayak gelang lo gini? (karena dia pake gelang jaman sekarang itu loh, banyak banget di pergelangan tangan kirinya yang kurus kecil itu...)

ckkc : iya, lo pake gitu aja (ngasih instruksi gak jelas)

bm : bahannya sama kayak gelang lo?

ckkc : nggak sih, ini dari papua (nunjuk gelangnya)

bm : (mengangguk-angguk macho sambil pasang headset ipod lagi dengerin arctic monkeys)


kemudian gua diem dia diem. cibubur macet.

cowok kacamata kalem membuat sebuah gerakan dengan tangannya, lalu bertanya ketika bamby menengok ke arahnya,

ckkc : kenapa emangnya? lo suka?

bm : yoi, gua emang lagi nyari sih

diem lagi.

karena prinsip hidup ah-gak-kenal-ini-bodo-amat dan YOLO, bamby iseng membuka obrolan,

bm : lo pernah nonton the conjuring gak? film horor itu

ckkc
: gak suka nonton film horor

bm : kenapa? (ketawa ganteng, nada sok cool) takut?

ckkc : (muka datar karena kalem)
nggak, ngapain aja gitu nonton film cuma dibuat takut

bm : makanya itu, gua penasaran. gua juga belom pernah nonton film horor. anabelle heboh banget gitu

ckkc : (diem)

bm : (berasa paling ganteng padahal rambut dikepang) emang film yang bagus buat lo yang kayak gimana?

ckkc
: gue mending nonton film tentang bank

bm : hah? like what?

ckkc : misalnya the international, margin shift

bm : (mengangguk-angguk sok simpati)
itu tentang bank semua gitu?

ckkc : iya

diem bentar doang, karena YOLO.

bm : turun mana lo?

ckkc
: gue dari jakarta

bm : (senyum ganteng lagi)
bukan, lo turun mana?

ckkc : (nyengir malu sedetik saja tapi karena bamby adalah cucu hercule poirot cengiran malu itu tertangkap oleh kemampuan deduksi terlatih)
oh, kota wisata

bm : oh

ckkc
: gue ngunjungin rumah orang tua di kota wisata

bm : (nggak denger dia ngomong apa, so gua mencari kedua matanya dan bertanya dengan alis berkerut)


ckkc : gue ngunjungin rumah orang tua di kota wisata

bm : (dengan sok kece plus senyuman maut)
kenapa lo? merantau?

ckkc : nggak, besok kan idul adha

bm : oh iya bener. salam ya

ckkc : (ketawa kaget mungkin ketakutan)

diem lagi deh.

ckkc :
ini macet sampe mana?

bm : (dengan sigap dan ganteng menjawab)
masih jauh ini. ada pekerjaan galian deket rumah sakit mitra. lewatin mal satu, terus mal satu lagi, yah sampe kotwis lah macetnya

ckkc :
(diem)

yaudah deh. gua turun deh di depan plasa cibubur. gua bilang duluan ye (bukan ya) dan thanks. tamat.

salam YOLO.





* ps. terasa nggak kegantengan gua (bamby) barusan?
kalo kurang ganteng besok-besok gua tambahin kadar kegantengannya, gituh.



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