kesepian (cailah)

ya gile tau-tau bulan mei aja.

 

officially, gue udah kelar winter semester dengan tiga mata kuliah yang sangat menarik. masih sering kedinginan, mostly karena emang nasib gue dapet kamar yang dingin. as in, cold. not freezing, not super cold, but cold no matter what. kan kzl ya haha.

 

(but then gue sering liat homeless people outside, gak kebayang jadi mereka.)

ngomongin judul, well, emang gitu kenyataannya.

puasa di sini 16 jam, dan ketika itu gue lagi libur spring break. basically nothing to do. terus it hit me like a brick in the face. wow. like. i have always been on my own, tapi kali itu berbeza. sepi. tipe sepi yang terlalu kenceng sampe lo sadar oh, lo lagi kesepian, bam.

wakakkaka.

gak banget sih jujur. not a fan. gue ESTJ, which lies on the extroverted spectrum ya, cuma gue enjoy being on my own, exploring restaurants, shops gitu sendirian no problem. however, during that particular fasting week... lmaooo parah dah. meeting and talking to friends helped. so thank you to them, really.

speaking of friends, kenapa harus dikotak-kotakkin LMAOOO. ada satu temen hong kong, tipe savage pinter yang kalo ngemeng gak di-filter. ngatain orang dumb, ya karena emang orang yang dikatain itu terbukti dumb. long story short, because of a shared experience involving a dumb person (yang sebenernya nice-nice aja, tapi emang... dumb), gue sama ini orang hong kong jadi hang out gitu.

gue gak paham kenapa harus diperjelas status antara 'a friend' versus 'an acquaintance'. they both are the same buat gue. ketika gue bilang 'a friend', ya biar cepet anjjj lol gak perlu dipikirin how deep i know that friend or whatever.

bandingin lo articulating 'a friend' dengan 'an acquaintance', lebih cepet mana? 'a friend' lah wakakakak.

 

i appreciate the wisdom and tips n tricks she shares with me, tapi gila agak negatif banget sih ya wtf. literally temenan yaudah temenan ajeee. curigay doi pernah ada bad history apalah, makanya sekarang begini amat jadi orang lmao.

kadang, gue lupa tarik napas dalam-dalam terus lepas. but when i remember to do so, it also helps.

buat lo semua, jangan lupa tarik napas dalam-dalam, tahan 10 detik, terus lepasin lewat mulut ye. toodles!